Beef in Heaven

In Heaven, it would be unfair to deny the virtuous souls eternal access to delicious steak. But the problem is where does the steak come from? If it’s in Heaven, it means it’s already dead and can’t be killed. But maybe… just maybe if you kill something in Heaven, it reincarnates on Earth as the next evolutionary stage up. Therefore, if you slaughter a cow in Heaven, it might come back as a pig. And pigs are considered unclean in many parts of the world. So, the more cows you kill on earth, the more humans come back eventually, overpopulating the planet.

And that’s why Hindus don’t eat beef.

I need to stop smoking weed.