Ted Nugent sometimes makes very good sense.

And this is one of those times. Ted’s basic point is that thanks to the more left-leaning politicians in our nation, even cops have trouble arming themselves. Ted speaks about an incident in New York where two unarmed officers (I must say, foolishly) pursued a heavily armed dickbrain who then proceeded to empty his clip into their bodies, killing them.

Now, I am going to take this opportunity to speak on the topic at large, rather than focusing on the Nuge’s ranting. The trouble here is the attitude on the traditional left towards guns and gun control. I recall after that little twat at Virginia Tech shot up his school, I said to myself “how long before some weenies start crying about mean old macho America and their guns?”. And like clockwork, I turned on the radio during my commute to hear a DJ on the local station KNDD caterwauling about that very subject. And to no surprise of mine, he wondered aloud when America would question its “love affair with guns”.

Blaming America’s violent shootings on guns is akin to blaming the Holocaust on ovens, but nobody has called for the banning of crematory kilns that I’m aware of. People are afraid to put blame where blame lies (and this applies to many more issues than this) and it’s as simple as that. The blame for the Virginia Tech shooting lies with a little punk bitch who was sexually rejected by even his own right hand, probably. Rather than taking the opportunity to damn the memory of such individuals as that asshole, or the fellator of horses who murdered Dimebag Darrell, or the two losers who shot up Columbine High School, the nation immediately blames the inanimate pieces of metal they happened to be carrying at the time. And we’re lucky if they blame guns because the even-more-lunatic fringe enjoys blaming such things as heavy metal music, video games, and dark clothes. Individuals such as those are the ones who strain our free-speech system to its limits.

Here’s another way of looking at it. If just one other person in the vicinity of these violent shootings were armed as well, the loss of life could have been stopped at one (innocent) death or even none. The minute the whackjobs start shooting, there ought to be someone who starts shooting back. So in fact, it’s not our nation’s “love of guns” which is to blame for the shootings that go on in America, but our aversion to guns! It’s quite similar to sex. High teen birth and STD rates can be blamed on lack of sex education because the sex is there but it’s being grossly misused. High murder rates can similarly be blamed on the fact that guns are there, but they’re being grossly misused. If sex were dealt with openly and frankly, the problems of teen pregnancy and venereal diseases would ameliorate, and if guns were treated as equally useful and hazardous tools, then perhaps law-abiding citizens would not be stigmatized for owning them, and be able to serve as a bulwark against the crazies who may get their hands on a weapon.

But it’s far easier to just blame the inanimate object. Pawning responsibility from oneself onto an inanimate object is convenient. Plus, the whiners in America have an excellent model in some European states. I’ve heard on numerous occasions a very disturbing counter-argument to the truism “If we outlaw guns, then only outlaws will have guns”. That argument states: “England has avoided this by so thoroughly disarming the population and making the penalty for possession so high that nobody except the army has guns.”

These individuals make this argument with such a straight face, it’s frightening. They’re so weak of character, so craven, so pusillanimous and afraid to fend for themselves that they’d allow a government to castrate their ability to self-defend in the faith that that government will keep them safe. Well, excuse me for being so bold, but I’ll risk being shot by a random moron on the street sooner than I’ll risk giving our already ethically questionable government the ability to disarm us at will. Unlike the anti-gun whackos, I see adults as adults; not overgrown babies. Well, maybe some people are.

Props to China for not blaming Tibet… the way they do for everything else.

Really, I would have imagined they’d blame the incident on Tibetan monks (whom they’d conveniently plant on the scene for that purpose).

You reap what you sow, I say. The People’s Republic of China is renowned for doing things half-assed, and now General Tso’s chickens have come to roost.

So not all parents are idiots. About time!

Here in America, there’s an ongoing debate about corporal punishment of children. The backwards types who look fondly upon the times they were bent over their father’s knee and given a whoopin’ they’d feel into the next week call for a return to such antediluvian days. Of course, the “progressive” thinkers aren’t really any better. I’ve heard a number of young mothers (too young, frankly) say such things as “Because of my maternal instinct I automatically give in to my child. I can’t stand to see them cry.” Basically, foolish parents choose either to create authority-fearing, risk-averse drones, or spoiled little would-be Paris Hiltons. Hence Republicans and Democrats.

But what about the third (read: intelligent) option? The best way to teach a kid discipline and wisdom is to throw them at the world and let them learn on their own. And that’s what this mother did. Unlike many mothers, she’s a true “mom” (mom = good mother; mother = neutral term). You can read about the story there, but the short version is she let her 10 year old kid return home alone on the subway in New York. Now that is a cool mom!

No its not Jhay, your rong. Its dangeress.

It’s just as dangerous for women to walk through Compton alone at 1 AM. We don’t ban them from doing it. And anyway, kids back in the day (read: before I was around, sadly) walked to school alone before age 10, and went trick-or-treating all by themselves (or with a cohort of peers) without helicopter parents shuttling them around.

But its difrant! Its moar dangeress today!

No it’s not. Quit romanticizing, you spineless freak.

Your mean.

And you’re stupid.

Anyway, obviously there is a greater element of danger in letting your kids roam free. Nobody’s going to say it’s as safe, let alone safer. But that’s exactly the point! There are two things at work here. Firstly, if kids don’t experience an element of danger while young, and at that, don’t learn to comport themselves in dangerous situations, they will be paralyzed with fear and indecision when life hits them. Do you think passengers raised by omnipresent parents would have handled being on Flight 93 the same way? Something tells me people like Todd Beamer were allowed to roam free as kids. Today’s kids, their last words wouldn’t be “Let’s roll” or but “Oh my God, oh my God, mommy!”

There’s also another element here, which will no doubt piss some people off. More freedom for kids = more freedom for Charlie to do his work. No, I don’t mean Charles Manson or the Viet Cong. I mean Darwin. With all the safety gear we padlock kids into, it makes it far too easy for the stupid ones to live, and thus perpetuate their genes. With a more dangerous environment, people of any age are more subject to the laws of Darwin. In a society that is quickly falling into degeneracy, we need that.

It’s called Eco-fascism, and it’s evil.

We’ve all heard about the evils of environmental irresponsibility. And, to be sure, it is definitely evil. Nobody with a fraction of a brain is going to contest the fact that destroying the only planet we have is a shit idea and a shit thing to do. Unfortunately, nobody seems to remember the opposite evil. That’s because it’s somehow been lumped under “environmentalism”. More accurately it’s environmentalism, with the “mental” part emphasized.

Real environmentalism simply means the responsible management of the resources given us. Eco-fascism, on the other hand, is the subjugation of mankind under the purported whims of a sadistic earth. It generally implies the forsaking of enjoyment of life so as to render man’s ecological footprint nil. While this may sound like something espoused only by a faction of left-wing whackos sporting dreadlocks and reeking of pot smoke, it’s not. Eco-fascism is finding currency with mainstream journalists.

Here’s a good example.

My eco-fascist detector went off when I read the line, “Our lust for large cars and long trips.” That said it all. Not so much the “large car” part, to the extent that there are a large number of morons who buy huge SUVs for the purpose of driving to Starbucks, but the “long trips” part. That one line echoes something I’ve seen in numerous other media sources, which is the indictment of the notion of road trips and vacations. That is the heart of eco-fascism. It’s been said by some complete assholes that people should simply go on fewer vacations. Sure. See less of the world, and spend more time in your miserable home.

The suburbs are mentioned as well. Obviously, suburbs being farther from the city, commute distances therefrom will be higher, thus requiring more fuel, but few of these eco-fascists ever take the time to find out why so many people live in suburbs. With cities becoming or remaining polluted, crime-ridden hellholes save for the ritziest (read: most expensive) sections, the suburbs offer a residence with thin traffic, low crime, and space for a yard. But of course, the eco-fascists will simply attack the very need for clear streets and lawns, and probably claim that living with urban crime is just a sacrifice everyone has to make for the good of society. After all, life isn’t for enjoying. It’s for serving the Many!

I’ll be posting more examples of eco-fascism in the future. Stay tuned.

More people who ought to be sterilized.

http://www.pet-abuse.com/pages/animal_cruelty/crush_videos.php

Go there.

Let me just say that I thought I was aware of every fetish out there. I mean, I’ve heard of people raping animals, allowing animals to rape them, blood fetishism, gerbils in a cardboard tube, scat, asphyxia, and all sorts of other things I think should be banned. Well this one takes the cake, folks. This sets the sexual freedom movement back 1000 years.

If you didn’t go to the link, it happens to be about people who get their tiny rocks off watching small animals be crushed to death, usually by feet, but apparently also by some slut’s hairy, pimply ass. Anyone who would either do that to a creature or enjoy watching it should be sterilized. Gonads, ovaries, whatever, removed quickly and efficiently. This is the type of filth we need to purge out of our species.

Oh, and people who do THIS should be sacrificed to a pack of hungry dogs. Why do people do this to dogs? There are perfectly good oil company execs out there!

New Judas Priest song. Who needs a good guitar sound? Really. Who?

http://www.epicrecords.com/judaspriest/

There it is. The thing that I waited 3 years for! Three years since their last letdown of an album. It started out promising enough, with its epic and over-the-top operatic intro. I listened intently, hoping I wouldn’t be let down when the guitars came in. And indeed I wasn’t let down.

I was kicked down and then shat upon.

The “guitar sound” seems to come from a Line 6 POS. It’s quiet, buzzy, and completely gutless. The bass is also brought down to where it was in the old days. Namely, obscurity. Production aside, it’s the same boring vocal phrasing that Halford has used for a while now. Predictable and slow. I don’t feel like being eloquent or particularly articulate right now. I’m just too disappointed. So go listen to it and make up your own minds.

I’m out like Priest’s career.

Why I’m smarter than clock-radio manufacturers.

The power went out the other day. The outage was, of course, insignificant. I was powerless for all of 10 seconds, and since my surge protector is also a battery backup, I was not even inconvenienced by having to restart the computer. What shocked me, however, was how in this day and age, when the power goes out for even a second, clock radios all do the same thing: flash that obnoxious, lurid, and offensive “12:00″ no matter what time it happened to be displaying just seconds before.

By comparison, when I went into the kitchen, I saw my stove was flashing, but showed the correct time, minus a few seconds. Why is it that stove manufacturers get what is to them a minor detail right when clock radio manufacturers cannot even get right half of their raison d’etre? When I went to Radio Hack to buy the alarm clock, I asked them specifically for something that plugs into a standard outlet, but which also contains a permanent lithium-ion battery, a la a cell phone. That way battery changes would never be an issue, but in the event of power loss, I’d have a backup, and once the power returned, the backup would return to full capacity. Having my cake and eating it too, basically. But I got the same response at Radio Shack as I would get at Best Buy. No such thing existed. Everything was either plugged in, or used those relics of the 20th century, non-rechargeable alkaline batteries. Pathetic.

A few devices such as this now remedy that problem. But that is hardly the point. For years, alarm clocks did the same stupid, stupid thing when they lost power, even though that makes them incredibly unreliable and borderline worthless. And the solution lay within reach for longer than we’ve even had lithium-ion batteries. It didn’t seem to occur to anyone to store time data in a non-volatile medium, perhaps at 20 second intervals. Why is it I don’t have a degree in electronic engineering and I can figure this shit out, but the so-called professionals can’t?

That’s not a rhetorical question. I really want to know.

Sweden… eat your heart out. Finland world’s most metal country.

Maybe it’s the Hades-like darkness that envelopes the country half of the year. Maybe it’s the Uralic nihilism pervading their culture. Maybe it’s just because speaking a language that looks so frightening necessitates it. But Finland has out-metalled Sweden, which tradition holds as the most metal of countries. If that’s surprising, it’s understandable. Sweden was the home of vikings. Finland is the home of… sauna. And most of us don’t consider sitting naked in a room with other sweaty men to be very metal… most of us.

But at any rate, Mike who writes “Switch’ll” has done a demographic survey of metal. By comparing countries populations to the number of metal bands therein, he has given us a rough estimate of the metalness of these nations.

A few things I found interesting:

1) UK and USA are strikingly close in metal proportion.

2) The most affluent South Asian country - India - has by far, the worst metal ratio.

3) Botswana is more metal than South Africa. I mean, maybe that’s punishment for letting Seether exist.

4) Denmark is only half as metal as Norway and Iceland. It’s also the home of Aqua and ToyBoy. The pernicious influence of those groups must have something to do with it.

As if to celebrate their metalness, Finland revolutionized Eurovision’s musically insipid culture with first, the Gwar-meets-KISS antics of Lordi, and then the Manowar-worship of Teräsbetoni who manage to cram a LOT of song (including a guitar solo) into the punk-like 3 minutes allotted them. Prior to Lordi, the previous three winners of Eurovision were:

2005 Gay

2004 Gayer

2003 Gay and Gimmicky

Now, for further comparison, here were some entries from Norway, Sweden, and Denmark

Denmark (2005): James Blunt Gay

Sweden (2006): Whitney Houston Gay

Norway (2006): I’m ashamed to admit that I liked this Gay

Denmark (2006): Carole King meets Cyndi Lauper Gay

Norway (2007): Ricky Martin Gay

Sweden (2007): Should have won 2007 but still gay Gay

Denmark (2007): OMG! Holy shit! WTF!? Literal Gay!

Now, if your brain isn’t comatose from all that pop music, go read the original post where I found the metalness stats. Then don your self-hunted, self-made bearskin loincloth, studded leather armor, and chest oil. Plug your Hamer guitar into your Peavey 5150 or Mesa Triple Recto, which you will turn to 11. Take out that gay ponytail and let your long hair fly. And unleash the motherfucking metal fury.

I’m out like DQ from DenmarQ.

From the system of tubes: Music.

Some of this stuff you may have heard. Some you probably, most certainly haven’t. But here it is. Some of it’s good. Some of it’s not. Some, it depends what you’re into. But you’re going to hear it anyway.

Central-Asian throat singing

This guy rules. At first he just sounds constipated, but he’s got a secret in store. After the first verse, he starts making a flute like sound with his throat. How he does that is anyone’s guess, but it rules. GRADE: B

Not Central-Asian throat singing

This girls don’t rule. These ones also sound constipated, but in a non-talented way. This is one of those times it’s ok to say “That’s not music. It’s noise!” One of them is definitely belching at a certain point. However, there’s something almost rock ‘n’ roll-like about the rhythm. I could see this being played by some German 70s Krautrock band with a name like Der Gelbkugel. GRADE: WTF

Van Canto - The Mission

Metal a capella. I hadn’t thought it possible. Other than drums which would require about 10 people to reproduce vocally, there are no instruments. Just vocal chords. I expected this to suck, but in fact, it’s got better hooks than most “power metal”. Germans. Is there anything they can’t do? GRADE: B+

Andy McKee - The Gates of Gnomeria

I’m sure most of you have heard of this guy. You’ve probably heard “Drifting”, which is his major single. But for those who have no idea who he is, or have only heard that song, check this one out. Dig that harp guitar. McKee, besides being blessed with freakish technical ability, has the far more important ability to paint vivid images with sound. You’re missing some braincells if his music doesn’t conjure up almost narrative visions. Supposedly, McKee does no drugs at all, also, which surprised me. Does that mean we won’t be seeing him at Folklife? GRADE: A

Fair to Midland - Dance of the Manatee

A dumb band name, a dumber song name, and a dumbest bridge. I would have called the song alternative metal, rather than nu-metal, until that awful bridge comes in. Remember back in the 90s, when nu-metal bands put into their song a part that ruined any other redeeming value the song may have had? It usually involved angry growling of random sounds, a complete disregard for any melodies that had been present, and a general lack of purpose, except to render the song worthless. It was usually found where you were hoping there would be a guitar solo. It was nu-metal’s way of saying “We’re so alternative that not only will we disappoint fans of solos… we’ll completely insult them!” This song has that. GRADE: D

KMFDM - A Drug Against War

These guys are still around. They still rock. But this song will always be the best. ‘Nuff said. GRADE: A

The Four Horsemen - Tired Wings

That these guys were forgotten is just criminal. This is good solid early ’90s rock ‘n’ roll in the vein of Guns ‘n’ Roses and Skid Row. Usually, a singer’s sudden death is a free pass to legend status, but in the case of the Four Horsemen, it just knocked them off the radar. The biggest tragedy of Frank Starr’s death was that it went unmourned by entirely too many people. GRADE: A-

The Cunninghams - Bottle Rockets

Speaking of criminally unappreciated bands, here are the Cunninghams. They came out in the mid-late 90s with this ridiculously catchy tune that pays homage to Cheap Trick and nods to their coevals, SuperDeluxe. Unfortunately, they were about five years ahead of their time (or 15 years behind, depending on how you want to look at it). Had they come out around the same time as the White Stripes, they’d be huge today. Unfortunately, back in 1997, music fans were far more interested in hearing some douchebag with a longer goatee than his pecker belch into a microphone. Even more tragically, the failure to hit the bigtime must have had an effect on the singer, Seven Pearson, as he committed suicide a few years later. The only downside to this song is the glaring lack of solo. Right after Seven sings “lights up the sky”, the song should have kicked into a power-popalicious guitar solo along the lines of the one in “She Came On”. If someone wants to record and splice in something like that into this song, please do so, and put it online. I will link to it! GRADE: A-

Headless Chickens - Cruise Control

This band was definitely forgotten. These Kiwis seem to have been listening to U2 quite a bit. GRADE: B-

Rorschach Test - Peace Minus One

I don’t know how many people remember this band. I definitely never forgot them. I was lucky enough to be aware of them when they were together. Luckier still to see them live. Their only downfall was that their singer had a lousy voice… but was the main creative force behind the band, so couldn’t just be replaced. Kind of the same problem Rush has. GRADE: B

2wo - I Am a Pig

Speaking of another forgotten industrial band, here’s 2wo, formed by Judas Priest singer Rob Halford. Now, one might think combining Fight and industrial would have some sort of godly results. The Fight remixes hinted at that potential, if only they weren’t soiled with that “remixy” sound. But Two sucked. Where I expected Fear Factory, I got Powerman 5000. I did see this band live also. Their tour was such a flop that it got cut short. Guess I got lucky there. GRADE: C

Circle of Dust - Deviate

A very forgotten band. While some might balk at the fact that they sometimes proselytize Christianity with their lyrics, I find it hugely refreshing in contrast to the obnoxious and whiny nihilism found in 99% of this type of music. This song shows the potential that was never quite realized. After Brainchild, Circle of Dust moved into a more electronic direction without the heaviness. It wasn’t bad, and it was definitely hookier, but it wasn’t what it could have been. This one I did not get to see, unfortunately. GRADE: A-

Machines of Loving Grace - Butterfly Wings

I was a dumb kid. Some idiot DJ actually said that this song was played by Sonic Youth, and I didn’t know any better. So when I went to see Sonic Youth at Bumbershoot, I was severely let down. Anyway, some of you might remember this band. I don’t really think any band sounds like this one, but they hint at White Zombie and Professional Murder Music at times. “Butterfly Wings” was easily their best song, so here it is. GRADE: B+

Bomb the Bass - Bug Powder Dust (featuring Justin Warfield)

Last but definitely not least, we’ve got this piece of forgotten brilliance. Remember back when rappers actually rapped? Not slurred a bunch of filthy tripe about hoes and bling bling. I mean RAPPED. Aggressive, rhythmic lyrical delivery prizing clever wordplay, not empty boasts. And remember when rap actually had background music worth listening to? “Bug Powder Dust”s bass groove is every bit as awesome as “doo rear doot doot, a doo rear doot doot”. Actually, it’s even more awesome. This rap song is a “RAP” “SONG”. Modern rap music is neither. Enjoy. I sure did. GRADE: A+

That should be enough to keep you from being bored for an hour or so. I need to get back to real work now. Don’t let my writing go to waste. Listen to these bands. Even the sucky ones. I’m out like two chicks belching in each other’s faces.

UPDATE! Priest album produced by Fight producer Atti Bauw.

I have heard from reliable sources that the Judas Priest album, Nostradamus, was produced by Atti Bauw. For those who don’t know who that is, just listen to the song “Nailed to the Gun”, and you will hear properly-produced metal. I had somehow forgotten about this guy, but he did an awesome job on Fight’s War of Words. Maybe there’s hope for this album!